I Just Didn't Know
I think I started out life thinking I was okay—
I just ran around as all little kids do—
pretty oblivious to what was
going on around me.
But, then as I got older,
I started comparing myself to
everyone else I could see,
and then I didn’t like me anymore.
I felt very inadequate and often wished
I could be someone else—
maybe someone who didn’t
have such big hands and feet
or who didn’t get acne.
Well, eventually the acne went away—
although the big hands and feet
decided to stay—
but I married a man who thought
my hands and feet were beautiful.
It was then I realized that I had worried
all my life over some things
that simply didn’t matter
to the most important people in my life—
people who really loved and cared about me.
Now I’m gradually becoming
like that child again
where I think I’m okay,
but I know it’s going to take time
to erase the pain that I caused myself.
But, I know deep inside of me
that I am special—
I always was special,
and I will always be special—
but when I was growing up,
I just didn’t know.
I just didn’t know.