Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal
Whenever I get an idea for a future post I want to write, I jot it down in a spiral notebook. Sometimes I lose that particular notebook, and then I have to get a new notebook to jot down my ideas. I recently found one of my old notebooks and saw an idea that I had written down several months ago: “Putting Motherhood on a Pedestal.”
As I continually look around me, I see so many other voices calling to women to do different things with their lives instead of investing in motherhood. I wrote a poem about this when I was a mother of six young children. I knew others were sometimes critical of my choice to be a mother of so many children, but I knew in my heart that this was my calling from God. While we all have different missions in life, it would be a blessing for all women to nurture even one child with tender, unconditional love. Whether we give birth, adopt, or simply “mother” any precious child of God within our circle of influence, we will be passing on the gift of love to untold generations.
When I wrote my mission statement for my website in July 2017, it was three-fold:
“My mission is to empower individuals, revitalize marriages, and fortify families through the mastery of choice.”
Now I feel I need to be more specific and make it four-fold:
“My mission is to empower individuals, revitalize marriages, ennoble motherhood, and fortify families through the mastery of choice.”
Birthright
I think somebody
once played a
joke on woman.
That somebody
slyly whispered in her ear that
if she used her own procreative powers
to provide a new life
she was only making an unnecessary sacrifice,
which just added to an
already over-populated world.
He told her
that using her talents and energy
to cuddle and care for a tiny child
was a meaningless responsibility
and waste of time,
which should be abandoned for something
more beautiful, glittering, and useful.
Many women
believed that somebody
without realizing to whom they were listening,
only to find as their life’s
days came slowly to an end
that they had sold their noble birthright
for a mess of pottage.
I believe that somebody was . . . Satan.
He deceived woman
the first time
over 6,000 years ago,
and he is still trying
to do it now
to me.
But, I refuse
to be deceived.
I simply refuse.
In his October 2018 General Conference address, “Sisters’ Participation in the Gathering of Israel” by President Russell M. Nelson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, he cheerfully and encouragingly elevated the meaning of motherhood when he stated:
Through the years, whenever I have been asked why I chose to become a medical doctor, my answer has always been the same: “Because I could not choose to be a mother.”
Please note that anytime I use the word mother, I am not talking only about women who have given birth or adopted children in this life. I am speaking about all of our Heavenly Parents’ adult daughters. Every woman is a mother by virtue of her eternal divine destiny.
So tonight, as the father of 10 children—nine daughters and one son—and as President of the Church, I pray that you will sense how deeply I feel about you—about who you are and all the good you can do. No one can do what a righteous woman can do. No one can duplicate the influence of a mother.
Sheri L. Dew expressed similar enlightened feelings about motherhood in her classic October 2001 General Relief Society Meeting address entitled, “Are We Not All Mothers?”
Have you ever wondered why prophets have taught the doctrine of motherhood—and it is doctrine—again and again? I have. I have thought long and hard about the work of women of God. And I have wrestled with what the doctrine of motherhood means for all of us. When we understand the magnitude of motherhood, it becomes clear why prophets have been so protective of woman’s most sacred role.
While we tend to equate motherhood solely with maternity, in the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living”—and they did so before she ever bore a child.
For reasons known to the Lord, some women are required to wait to have children. This delay is not easy for any righteous woman. But the Lord’s timetable for each of us does not negate our nature. Some of us, then, must simply find other ways to mother. And all around us are those who need to be loved and led.
As daughters of our Heavenly Father, and as daughters of Eve, we are all mothers and we have always been mothers. And we each have the responsibility to love and help lead the rising generation. Every one of us can mother someone—beginning, of course, with the children in our own families but extending far beyond.
How will our young women learn to live as women of God unless they see what women of God look like, meaning what we wear, watch, and read; how we fill our time and our minds; how we face temptation and uncertainty; where we find true joy; and why modesty and femininity are hallmarks of righteous women?
Please look around you and see what child needs your “mothering” influence the most today. It might be your own child, or it might be someone else’s.
I remember a choir concert I once attended in the gymnasium of a high school for one of my teenagers. When the choir started performing, two little children, a girl and a boy, started running around in the gym laughing loudly and chasing each other and disrupting the concert. I kept thinking that the children’s parents would soon grab them and quiet them down, but nothing happened. I finally realized that the children’s parents must not be at the concert, and I assumed that the children had been sent to the concert with an older sibling who was singing in the choir.
As the children’s noise continually increased, I stood up, walked down to the gym floor from the top of the bleachers where I was sitting with my husband and other children, and gently took each of them by the hand. I l bent down to their level and quietly asked them if they would like to come up and sit with me and listen to the beautiful music. With surprised looks on their faces, they both quickly nodded, “Yes.” The three of us walked back up to the top of the bleachers, and I had them sit on either side of me as I entertained them with a variety of things I found in my purse, playing hand games with them, and drawing pictures until the concert was over.
My other children were embarrassed that I had been so assertive, but my husband thought it was a perfectly normal thing for me to do. I knew that if any of us were going to be able to enjoy the concert, then those two beautiful, rowdy, little children would need a “mother” to quiet them down. Although I didn’t know them before, we became friends by the end of the concert. They both gave me big hugs before saying goodbye and hurrying back down the steps to the gym floor where they immediately resumed chasing each other with their loud, happy laughter.
Yes, every child needs a “mother.”
Let’s put motherhood back on the pedestal where it belongs.