Reflections on Marriage: K is for Kissing
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For the past few years, I’ve been writing posts about each letter of the alphabet, A-Z, from my book, ABC’s for a Happy Marriage. I didn’t write these posts in alphabetical order—I just randomly wrote whatever I felt like writing at the time. I wanted to have all twenty-six posts written by the end of 2020, but I realized this month that I was only up to twenty-four letters of the alphabet. So, I decided to combine the last two letters, “K” and “S” together. Then I realized they actually go together anyway—it all worked out! Whether you are married or single, I think you will enjoy these final two posts.
K is for Kissing
Kissing
your marriage partner
is a delightful
way to express
many kinds of
thoughts and emotions,
and it radiates
a gentle atmosphere
of admiration and
affection when enjoyed
throughout the day.
Excerpt from ABC’s for a Happy Marriage:
A Collection of Original Poetry and Biblical Scriptures
by Kristine Litster Fales
I like this New Testament scripture found in 1 Peter 5:14 which says: “Greet ye one another with a kiss of charity.”
In looking for a definition of “charity” on the Internet, I came across this one: Charity, in Christian thought, the highest form of love, signifying the reciprocal love between God and man that is made manifest in unselfish love of one's fellow men. ... Paul's classical description of charity is found in the New Testament (I Corinthians 13).
As you read these following verses in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 and 13, reflect on how you can feel real charity for your spouse. When you feel this charity in your heart, then show it in the kisses you exchange with one another—a tender “kiss of charity!”
Charity
suffereth long,
and is kind;
charity envieth not;
charity vaunteth not itself,
is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly,
seeketh not her own,
s not easily provoked,
thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity,
but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things,
believeth all things,
hopeth all things,
endured all things.
Charity never faileth:
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three;
but the greatest of these is
charity.
Kissing in Marriage
I encourage you to read the article, The Importance of Kissing in Marriage, which was written by Mike and Carlie Kercheval, on their website “Christian Marriage Adventures.” This is just a brief summary:
Think back to when you and your spouse were dating. Kissing one another was probably very common in your relationship. It came easily and made the sparks fly. How about now? After settling into the pattern of marriage and life together, kissing may not be quite as frequent, but it is still just as important. Here are some great ideas about the importance of kissing in marriage.
Kissing Is a Quick Way to Keep You Centered
Kissing Keeps You Calm (and Makes You Happier!)
Kissing in Marriage Helps You Through Challenges
Kissing in Marriage Keeps the Romance Going
Kissing in Marriage Brings Security
Kissing in Marriage Keeps You on Your Toes
Reflections on Marriage:
S is for Sex
I knew I wanted to save the letter “S - Sex” for last. To me, this special kind of physical intimacy is so sacred that it needs to be put on a high pedestal of respect and given the honor it deserves. However, throughout the world, the word sex has many connotations and meanings—ranging from the obscene, temporary, and often degrading experiences of short-term lust outside of marriage to the beautiful, binding, and overpowering long-term passionate love within marriage. So now, last but not least, I am writing about this wonderful, intimate gift that can be discovered within marriage, which is often just simply referred to as “sex.”
S is for Sex
Sex
celebrates the passion
within marriage that
creates new life
and binds you
tightly together, both
physically and spiritually,
as your yearning
souls are tenderly
cherished with love’s
strength and trust.
Excerpt from ABC’s for a Happy Marriage:
A Collection of Original Poetry and Biblical Scriptures
by Kristine Litster Fales
I remember several years ago when I was at a Christian book sellers convention telling people who were walking by my booth about my book, ABC’s for a Happy Marriage. One young woman stopped, picked up my book, and said somewhat abruptly, “If your marriage book doesn’t talk about sex, it’s not a good book.”
I simply said, “Read letter “S” and tell me what you think.”
She read it, smiled, and said, “It’s a good book.”
She bought a copy.
Jeffrey R. Holland gave a powerful talk in 1998 entitled, “Personal Purity” that is just as meaningful today as when he first gave it. In speaking of intimacy within marriage he said:
… Second, may I stress that human intimacy is reserved for a married couple because it is the ultimate symbol of total union, a totality and a union ordained and defined by God. From the Garden of Eden onward, marriage was intended to mean the complete merger of a man and a woman—their hearts, hopes, lives, love, family, future, everything. Adam said of Eve that she was bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh, and that they were to be “one flesh” in their life together (Genesis 2:23-24). … But such a total union, such an unyielding commitment between a man and a woman, can only come with the proximity and permanence afforded in a marriage covenant, with solemn promises and the pledge of all they possess—their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams.
Two of my favorite books on learning how to create a pure, passionate, fulfilling intimate relationship within marriage are: Human Intimacy: Illusion and Reality by Victor L. Brown, Jr., and And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment by Laura M. Brotherson.
It is my hope and prayer that as married couples, we can honor ourselves, and also honor our spouses, through our sacred marriage covenants. As we strive to be unified, through tenderness and deep sensitivity to one another’s feelings and emotions, we can truly become “one”—day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year—forever!
For all women and men who are not yet married, know that as you live purely for the blessing of marriage and this sacred physical intimacy, you will be rewarded at the right time and in the right place for your own unique life’s journey. Live for it, and never give up hope for it, because it is a God-given gift that can be yours.