Happy New Year???
I have not posted anything new to my MamaFales.com since May 2019. It has been a busy time for our family with many projects and activities! One project was launching a new website for my husband’s company. Our daughter Angela (who also designed and maintains my blog) was our designer for the new Wyoming Gourmet Beef website wyominggourmetbeef.com!
CLICK HERE to check it out!
I assisted by helping to write some of the information that would be read on our website, which was both challenging and fun!
When I saw a friend at a wedding reception just before Christmas, she asked me why I hadn’t posted anything new for such a long time. Although she could clearly see that I was now somewhat disabled (as my right arm and shoulder were in a “sling and swathe” due to a fall) and was unable to type, she told me to start writing again anyway. So here I am. Left hand. One finger at a time.
Endure The Lows
I wrote the following message for my June 2019 post in anticipation of my own birthday on June 29th, but I never got around to posting it! As I read it now, I can see it was quite prophetic as to what would be coming into my own life in the future. I now must practice what I preach—“endure the lows!”
While reflecting on my life, I’m grateful for everything that has happened. The positive experiences have filled me with serenity and laughter. The negative experiences have taught me patience and trust in the Lord. I know there will always be “highs” and “lows” in life. I’ve learned to enjoy the present moment of the “highs.” They will not last forever. I’ve also learned to endure the present moment of the “lows.” They will not last forever either.
My hope and prayer for each of us in 2020 is that we will all get back up whenever we fall down—literally or figuratively. If your New Year didn’t start out being very happy as mine didn’t (see my journal entry below), don’t give up hope. As I always say to my family, “There are good things up ahead!”
Keep having faith. Keep trying. Keep doing the best you can for that particular day. Try something new or return to something old that worked well for you in the past. And always remember to be “gentle” with yourself.
My Fall
NOVEMBER 5, 2019
I am typing this journal entry very slowly with my left hand because on Tuesday, 11.05.19 around 12 noon, I slipped on some ice and fell down face forward as I tried to brace myself with my arms. I dislocated my right shoulder and also fractured it. My arm is now in a “sling and swathe” to immobilize my shoulder by keeping my arm tight against my body so the joint doesn’t pop out again while my ligaments, tendons, muscles, and fractured bone heal. My official diagnosis is “Dislocation of right shoulder joint and Avulsion fracture.” I also have a huge bruise on the inside of my right arm. The ER doctor said it will take many months before I’m completely healed, which will include a lot of physical therapy. Two fingers on my right hand continue to be numb, so I also have some nerve damage in my right hand. This will “probably” go away with time.
THE BACK STORY
I was in Provo, Utah on the BYU campus parked in Visitor Parking by the Museum of Art. It was a beautiful Fall day with lovely warm weather, about 60 degrees. I was going to meet my son Ben and granddaughter Abby for lunch at the Cannon Center. I put on my sunglasses because the sun was so bright outside, and I was “power-walking” down the sidewalk to get some good exercise. I noticed up ahead there was some water on the sidewalk. I assumed that the grass had been watered that morning and that small part of sidewalk hadn’t dried yet because it was in the shade of the elevated walkway that leads up to the Marriott Center. As I power-walked across the water, I suddenly realized this was not water, but solid ice.
Lesson #1. Never assume that just because it’s 60 degrees outside that you might not encounter ice on a sidewalk!
Lesson #2. Never try to power-walk across ice!
ACCIDENTS ARE PART OF LIFE
As my feet started slipping and sliding, I knew I was going to fall. My first thought was, “Try not to hit your head and get a concussion!” As I fell forward with both of my arms spread out, I heard a “pop” after my right arm smacked loudly against the ground. I was in immediate pain and couldn’t move for several minutes. I was stunned. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.
I knew Heavenly Father was aware of me. I also knew the numerous times He had miraculously protected me from serious car accidents, head-on collisions, and other calamities. I knew He could have protected me this time. My logical mind said, “Okay, for some reason Heavenly Father is allowing me to have this experience. It is just an accident, and accidents are a part of the earth life experience. I know He will help me through.”
I was immediately filled with gratitude that I was alive and had not been in a serious car accident where my whole body would be hurting all over instead of just my right hand, arm, and shoulder.
CRY FOR HELP
At first I thought that someone would see me on the ground and come and help me, but no one did. I then told myself I had to somehow roll myself over so I could unzip my coat pocket, get out my cell phone, and call Ben. Very slowly, I accomplished these first three tasks. Trying to keep the pressure off my right arm, I slowly and painfully rolled over. With difficulty, as I balanced my unusable right arm on top of my left arm, I used my left fingers to unzip my right pocket and pulled out my phone. Holding the phone in my left hand and with my right arm still bent at a weird angle, I used my right fingers to painfully call Ben.
He didn’t answer.
I left this brief message: “I slipped on ice. I fell down. I can’t move. I need your help.” After a minute of waiting for him to respond, I decided to try Abby’s phone. If she didn’t answer, I was going to call my son Matt. I knew he was in a meeting, but I also knew he would come anyway if I needed him.
Abby answered.
As she cheerfully said hello, all I could glumly mutter was, “I need to talk to your Dad.” She sounded confused as she replied, “Okay…???”
She quickly handed Ben her phone. I repeated my message, but Ben couldn’t understand me. After saying it a couple more times, he said he would call me back. I thought to myself, “Is there something wrong with my voice? Am I not even making sense?”
This time when he called me on his own phone, he could finally hear me clearly! Then realizing the seriousness of the situation, he immediately said, Oh, no! I’ll be right there! Where exactly are you?”
Trying to be humorous, even though I was feeling terrible, I joked, “I’m just lying here on the sidewalk in between the Museum of Art parking lot and the Marriott Center like a turtle on its back!”
BEN TO THE RESCUE!
I was freezing as my warm body started melting the ice and my clothes were now getting wet. I was starting to shiver. Still lying on my back in that small shaded spot, I noticed the grass on either side of the sidewalk was covered with frost. It was so cold in that area! A few minutes later, I heard footsteps running towards me. When Ben came into my view, I called out to him, “Watch out for the ice!”
Ben slowed down and avoided the ice. When he got to me, a man who was walking on the elevated walkway above us suddenly appeared and called down saying, “Do you need any more help?”
I said in a frustrated voice, “I don’t know. I might. Please come down.”
He quickly did.
Ben asked if he could pick me up and carry me to my car. I told him I thought I was too heavy and that it would hurt my arm too much. He then helped me into a kneeling position up off the icy ground, but I didn’t have the strength to make it to my feet yet. He asked the man who had joined us to stay with me while he ran to get my car.
THE GOOD SAMARITAN
The man stood by me and said, “Is there anything I can do to help you?”
I said, “My left hand is really cold. Can you hold my hand?”
He took my hand and held it between his two hands and warmed it up. While I’ve never asked a stranger to hold my hand before, I knew this was exactly what I needed and wasn’t too shy to ask!
The man then told me I would be warmer if I got out of the shade and into the sunshine. He got me up to my feet and carefully helped me walk off the ice and out into the warmth of the sun. When Ben approached with the car, the man took me by the left arm and helped me walk unsteadily to the car. Ben thanked this “Good Samaritan” for his help, and we headed to the emergency room.
“YOU’RE HUMAN, MOM”
Every bump in the road shot pain through my arm and shoulder. I then started crying and moaning, shivering and shaking, and felt like I was going to throw up. I told Ben I didn’t want him to see me like this! (Every time I said this to him, he would always compassionately respond, “It’s okay Mom. It’s okay.” Once he added, “It’s good to see you’re human, Mom!”)
The emergency room personnel were so slow, and I was NOT a good patient. First, I had to spell my last name three times. It went downhill from there. They asked if I had ever been to that hospital. I said that I had my first baby there in 1973. It appeared they were trying to search for my archived medical records they were going so slowly. I was so confused why this process was taking so long. I said I needed some pain medication right now. They said that no pain med could be given until I saw a doctor, and I couldn’t see a doctor until I was registered, and I couldn’t get registered because they were having computer problems.
I was asked to get out of the wheelchair so they could weigh me, but I told them I was in too much pain to stand up. They said I couldn’t get pain medication if they didn’t weigh me. I told them to weigh me in the wheelchair and then weigh the wheelchair later and subtract it to find out how much I weighed. They finally agreed to do so.
MY COMPLAINTS
It was at least an hour and a half before x-rays were done and finally read by the radiologist. During that whole time, I was crying, moaning, groaning, and complaining:
“Why? Why? “Why?”
“I’m here in Provo to help people, but I’m the one who needs help! I can’t help other people now!”
“I’ve been doing so well for so long! I do all my natural remedies to stay healthy and exercise every day! I haven’t been sick since August of 2018.”
“I do everything I can to not get hurt! I’m always so careful not to fall. I always hold on to the hand-rails on stairs and take great precautions on snow and ice!”
“I try to do everything right…. I try to do everything right…. I try to do everything right….”
“I’m so sad! I’m so sad! I’m so sad!”
WORST PAIN EVER
I kept asking for more medicine to relieve my pain. Two nurses were arguing over how much pain med I could have. I demanded, “Give me what the doctor ordered!” The first nurse said, “But I still need to use my best judgment.” I complained, “What you gave the first time did nothing to relieve my pain. Give me the full amount the doctor ordered!” I finally got more medicine and had a little relief. They also put me on oxygen to help my breathing.
I kept asking Ben to hold my cold left hand, which he did. I then realized that it wasn’t just my hand that was cold, but I was cold all over. I asked for a warm blanket, and I finally got one. I asked for a pillow to help brace my right side to relieve the pain. No pillow arrived. I complained to Ben, “There are hundreds of pillows in this hospital. Can’t I just have one pillow?”
Ben went and made a second request. Eventually they brought me a pillow.
One nurse told me to take deep breaths and try to relax and stop screaming. I tried, but I couldn’t because I felt like my right chest was caved in. I said this pain was worse than childbirth. At least in between contractions, you can relax for a few minutes and do some deep breathing. Here, the excruciating pain never stopped.
I started thinking about Jesus and how much pain he had to endure. I’m sure he didn’t complain like I did, but I knew He understood what I was going through. Ben asked how he could help me. I asked him for a Priesthood Blessing. He reached into his pocket for the consecrated oil he carries with him, and I felt grateful for a son who honors his Priesthood. He gave me a blessing, and I was comforted.
RELIEF FINALLY COMES
When the two doctors came in to reset my shoulder, the nurse gave me a medication through my IV that took away ALL the pain for a few minutes and caused hallucinations. That was a strange, out-of-body experience! But it was so wonderful to have that excruciating pain suddenly gone once my shoulder was put back into place.
With the worst of the pain gone, I returned to my normal, cheerful self. I apologized to the staff for all my yelling. Both the head nurse and the doctor said to me individually when they talked to me before I left, “Wow! You look so much better than when you came in here!”
I’m sure I did!
FUNNY PART OF THE STORY
I had been wearing my big, dark sunglasses the whole time I was in the emergency room. I was so delirious that I forgot I had them on! I’m sure I was quite a sight—a crazy, screaming, old lady in the emergency room wearing sunglasses. Oh, well….
Lesson #3. Remove your sunglasses in the emergency room. Perhaps they’ll take you more seriously!
Recovery Continues
JANUARY 28, 2020
It has now been 12 weeks since my accident. I am no longer wearing my sling and swathe. The X-Rays from last week show that the fracture in my right shoulder is finally healed. The MRI shows the rotator cuff was not damaged. My physical therapy is progressing well. I still have some pain and a hard time sleeping most nights, but I can now use my right arm and hand! (I am typing this part of my post with two hands now although I’m still wearing a compression glove on my right hand because of the continual swelling.) I still have nerve damage to my right hand and two fingers. I cannot yet drive my car. I have NOT been a “patient” patient.
When I expressed my frustrations to one of my daughters several weeks ago, she sent me a link to the song "Gentle" by Michael Mclean.
I appreciate the many reminders in this song. I cry every time I listen to it.
Yes, we need to be gentle with ourselves—and with others, too. You never know what physical or emotional pain another person might be silently suffering when you see her or him.
Be gentle.