Reflections on Marriage—D is for Dating
Role Models for Marriage
My two favorite role models for creating a happy, successful marriage came from President David O. McKay and his wife, Emma Ray Riggs. President McKay was a Prophet for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from 1951–1970. I was born in 1952 and graduated from high school in 1970, so President and Sister McKay profoundly influenced me up to that point in my life. On their 65th wedding anniversary, President McKay referred to their married life as 65 years of “wedded courtship.” They were happily married for sixty-nine years!
Ongoing dating, or wedded courtship, as President McKay liked to call it, is a necessity after you make your sacred marriage vows. Take time to look your best for your marriage partner. Keep your voice calm and kind. Look the other way when small offenses occur and forgive and forget after talking through the big issues.
"Thou Shalt Love Thy Wife with All Thy Heart"
Thou shalt love thy wife
with all thy heart,
and shalt cleave unto her
and none else.
—Doctrine and Covenants 42:22
In the conference talk, “Thou Shalt Love Thy Wife with All Thy Heart” by Henry D. Taylor, he quotes President McKay’s advice on courtship and marriage. The first quote is about courtship before marriage. The second quote is about courtship after marriage.
1. Happiness Does Not Begin at The Altar
Courtship is a wonderful period. It should be a sacred one. That is the time in which you choose your mate. Young men (and young women), your success in life depends upon that choice. Choose prayerfully the one who inspires you to your best and always remember that no man injures the thing he loves. … The seeds of a happy marriage are sown in youth. Happiness does not begin at the altar; it begins during the period of youth and courtship. …
2. Love Must Be Nourished
One great purpose carried out by those who come into the temple is the sealing of man and wife in the sacred bonds of matrimony. That purpose is based upon the fact that man and woman truly love each other. That means that a couple coming to the altar should be sure that there is love in each heart. … Let us ever remember that love is the divinest attribute of the human soul. … love must be fed; … Love must be nourished; love can be starved to death just as literally as the body can be starved without daily sustenance. … If that love is fed daily and monthly and yearly throughout a lifetime, the husband’s (and wife’s) attention will not be drawn to somebody else. … If your spirit lives after death, as it does, then that attribute of love will persist. …”
Dating
Dating
your marriage partner
once a week
renews the memories
and the romance
that brought you
together in the
first place and
adds new experiences,
which will deepen
friendship’s tender bond.
Be kindly affectioned
one to another with brotherly love;
in honour preferring one another;
—Romans 12:10
(An excerpt from ABC’s for a Happy Marriage: A Collection of Original Poetry and Biblical Scriptures)